I'm still here

I wonder if eventually Google will shut down my blog for not posting.  Yes, I'm still here.  I actually do have a lot to say.  I just haven't made the time to say it.  I'm still thinking of starting a new blog- one dedicated to finishing grad school.  What shall I call it?  "Keeping sane while going insane"?  "What dissertation?"?  "Yes, I'm still writing it"?  I think I like that one.

-Cas

Abstracting

As I sit in my Tuesday designated work space (an available room at my brother's office), I am tediously pouring through 81 pages of journal abstracts.  This is based only on one literature search to help me justify just one independent variable for my qualifying paper.  I know this probably means nothing to you.  I continue, nevertheless.  I can't help but to wonder- will I then have to find, print, and read the entire articles?  How much does the abstract really nail home the key points of a paper?  Can I abstract from the abstract?  Is this the beginnings of another lazy researcher?  Aren't there any short cuts on the road to scholarly productivity.  Oh that p-word.  I promise to blog about that soon.  I use to love to use it, but now productivity just means so much more.

At this point, if I were out doors I'd spit on the ground to take the disgust from my mouth.  

Oh well.  Back to work then.

-Cas

History in the making

Wow. Tonight Obama becomes the first African American nominee to a major political party. Hot Damn! I think the world will be in shock. He is charismatic, intelligent, articulate, 47 years young, and BLACK. The United States of America has changed. It may not be fully changed, but by God it has to have made some major changes for us to be here at this moment.

In my lifetime.

In our lifetimes.

Can you believe this? I'm scared about what comes next. Nervous. Excited. Surprised. Speechless- almost. So can he lead this crazy, sick country? Why not. He'll have all the advisers and important people to help him out. No one really does it all alone. HOT DAMN! This is so cool, kids. Politics has never been so interesting, engaging, and meaningful.

Congratulations to Senator Obama- soon to be President Obama- hopefully. Too cool, man, too cool.

One year later, One year greater!

In case you didn't know, there's been an update to my profile.  No, I haven't changed my occupation to sassy pants- yet.  I am now 33 years young!  I hear that it is a magical year in numerology.  Also people have been reminding me that Jesus was crucified at age 33.  I'm not sure what to do with that information.  I suppose I could only have hoped to accomplish only a sliver of what Jesus did in his lifetime.  God willing I will have many more years to work on it.  

I am looking at this as a first birthday.  The first year of my new life as an awakened soul.  I feel like a new woman, with some rather new goals and aspirations and beliefs.  I like the new me and I hope you will too.  But if you don't, you deal with it, I am who I am.  I am happy and free.  I make sure to smile at least once every day, and most times I don't have to try.  I am renewed, but I am taking all 33 years of good, bad and indifferent experiences and knowledge with me into my new life.  My new vibrant, blessed life.  Happy birthday!  Happy New Year!  (I know it's May but I hope you get what I mean here).

Peace.  Be well.

your girl,

-Cas

What's next

Okay!  I finished the ethics course.  Alleluia!  Now, what's next?  On to the literature review!  I think working over my sister's house helped.  For some reason, when I work at home or alone, I am way distracted.  I get up and clean the house, file things, take another shower, anything to keep from getting the work done.  But out of that context, I have just enough noise to force me to concentrate, and an occasional watchful eye to see if I'm zoned out.  It's also good to have some one else cook you a meal.

Great to have some support! 

Hoop jumping

Here I am again.  Jumping through these IRB ethics hoops.  I am still trudging through the hoops of the online ethics course.  Talk about time consuming.  I am so bored!  So, I'm taking a break to quickly entertain my blogger fans.  I have maybe four more modules to complete and then the shackles can be removed.  I tried my best to get up early this morning to work on it- okay maybe I could have tried harder.  It's just not that easy.  At one point I had become an early riser.  Now, no more.  I struggle to be up by eight.  I try, but . . . I guess I need a different strategy.  

Any way, I probably shouldn't put it off much longer.  Back to the on line course.  I will be so ethical by the end of this.

-Cas

Ethics quizes

So, I'm taking the online ethics course. I focused my mind on how fun it would be and all that jazz. And ofcourse, I found out that it wasn't as bad as I feared. My positive thinking worked- somewhat. It turns out that instead of having 15 modules and 15 quizes, there's only about 7 quizes. YES!

But then I failed the first quiz. WHOA! 3 out of 5! What! I know what you're thinking- my occupation is listed as smarty pants, for God's sake! I'm suppose to be atleast as smart as I am sassy or I would be forced to change my occupation back to sassy pants. That shouldn't be so.

I was about to be stressed when I realized that they tell you what you got right and wrong and . . . they give you all the answers. SWEET! You also can re-enter the module, scroll through all of the reading and . . . retake the quiz!!!!! Excellent!

Now this may sound like cheating- which, my friends, would be unethical. However, cheating would be if I decide not to read any of the information and just enter the quiz page, try my luck, then redo it after I'm given the answers. That would be unethical. Retaking the quiz with the answers in hand is simply a way to assure that I have learned the material after being reminded of the correct answers. I still do the work and try to pass. Unfortunately, I don't retain everything, okay! At least I try.

Besides, I already KNOW what is ethical and what's not. The quiz is so much about definitions of stuff. Why should I know the definitional difference between fabrication and falsification, when I KNOW that you shouldn't do either!

That's what really matters, people.

Don't judge me. ;)

Must I suffer?

Right now I am suppose to be doing this online ethics course as an IRB requirement for the University that is kindly lending me their data.  What a drag!  I am so sick of looking at the screen of words, scenarios, and case studies.  I can barely progress because the task seems so overwhelmingly long.  Nevertheless, I must complete the damn thing!  I am trying to change the way I look at this circumstance.  I am trying to believe that this is not really a process of suffering but a process of . . . yeah, I got nothin'.  

WHY!

Okay.  That's enough crying and moaning, I guess.  Now I should go back to the other window and get cracking.  I need to recondition myself to this type of labor- dull, constant, never-ending.  I know, it doesn't sound like I'm doing a good job of changing the way I look at this thing.  Let's see . . . okay, I will be so much more knowledgeable about human subjects research!  It will be a benefit to my future students to have such a learned instructor.  I will be able to impart the gift of knowledge onto them.  The online course is free.  Can you beat free!  That's so much less than the tuition bill I got in the mail today.  It doesn't matter that I wouldn't have chosen this of my own free will.  It's free education and it's all mine.  

Oh lucky me!

-Cas