My BIG Words Are Back

I have decided that I am now longer going to limit my vocabulary when talking to people. I had begun to lose my ability to participate in higher level conversation. I had become simplified, stifled by confused looks from my less articulate "conversation-ists". I know I sound wrong- again,- but the truth is what it is. Smart women constantly dumb ourselves down to help others not feel intimidated- like men, or insecure bosses, or strangers we don't want to confuse. But I love complex topics, banter, and wit. I love satire. I feel like I should be able to express that without being judged. So I'm going to talk BIG out there when I feel like it! I'm going to engage people with critical-thinking concepts.

I won't necessarily start here.

ciao,
Cas

I'm not listening

Is it wrong that I've been giving someone the cold shoulder? You need to understand, she is the worse kind of not-nice person. She has been driving me crazy and I have to see her on the regular. I'm not gonna name names . . . but it's little miss whine and dine- yes you know who you are. She has asked me too many stupid questions. She has repeated the same phrase too many times. She has talked to herself, talked to others, talked to me- too many times. She smiles while she underhandedly shakes you down, thieves your thoughts and drains your brain power. She has acted innocent all too often while being quite evil. You need to understand. Is it not better to give the cold shoulder- not even a REAL cold shoulder. I should say, I'm just not engaging unnecessarily. I am polite. I say what needs to be said. But then I turn and walk away or look away or - yeah . . . sometimes I stare her down. Okay. I might be wrong.

But you should really understand by now.

Eat, Drink, Be Merry

Thanksgiving festivities have drawn to a close and the Christmas season is officially at a start. In an instant the season goes from being thankful to thankless. Suddenly there are people running you down outside of Walmart to buy a PS3. (you really shouldn't be there any way- and don't even say "why not"). Commercialism. Is that what one of the Holiest of Christian holidays has been reduced to? Fights over parking in the crowded mall lot? Feverish on-line shoppers with tendinitis, typing in credit card numbers on their shared computers at work? Slapping a poor grandmother to the floor as you wrestle the last Light up and Dance Dora doll from her arthritic hands? Spending your rent money to buy your child an Ipod when you don't even own a computer to download music?

Please remember the meaning of Christmas, people. Don't over do it. And don't hurt anybody while you're out there. If you're not sure of right and wrong any more, ask yourself "what would Jesus do?" I'm sure he'd let the old lady have the Dora doll for the orphaned gran-baby she's raising on her social security.

Have a heart.

Get behind me, Satan!

Am I wrong to say this? Sometimes people make me so aggravated that all I can think is "get behind me, Satan!" It has to be the work of the devil that gets them to want to be so annoying, so false, so shiesty! I can feel their evilness seeping out of their pores, oozing from beneath their demon horns, discreetly hidden beneath their hair. But not much gets past me. I'm on to them. They want me to cuss someone out. To tell them where to go. To cross that very thin line between thinking crazy and acting crazy. The other day I almost threw back my chair, jumped to my feet and screamed "get back, Satan". That- or- shut up! Nevertheless, I continue to fight temptation where I find it. I take deep breaths and ask God to intervene on my behalf. Yes, little miss annoying, I'm talking about you. Yes captain dumbo, I see the mark on you too.

Get behind me, fool!

The Intimidation Factor

I’ve been told dozens of times that the reason why I’m having a hard time finding a suitable man is because I am too “intimidating.” Apparently men are intimidated by independent, educated, strong women. Unfortunately, I’m not the only woman who has heard this from friends- male and female. My male friends have confessed that this is a real phenomenon- a real excuse used by some men who feel insecure about women who are “holdin’ it down.” I guess they want to feel needed. Does being an independent, educated woman mean you don’t need men? I don’t think so. So why should my education or job status or confidence make somebody feel small. I don’t use a lot of big words. I just need a brother to be able to keep up. I mean come on. What does he think? That I’m gonna challenge the brotha to a spelling bee? That he’ll have to join a read-a-thon? That he’ll have to complete daily math challenges? You would think men would be happy to find women who are smart and aren’t clingy. Obviously, nobody likes a show-off or a snob. Although I have admitted to being intellectually elitist at times in my thoughts, I don’t tend to thumb my nose at folk. That’s not cool chick behavior. I could see someone calling me intimidating because I’m excited about my martial arts weapons training. But come on, intimidating because I’ve made my own way? Brothers, please. Strong women aren’t out to shut you down. There are enough chicken heads out there to take care of that. You decide. Insecurity and drama. Or beauty, brains, and taking care of business. And ladies, don’t lower your standards. Stay down to earth but don’t be ashamed that you have a growing vocabulary. There’s a smart, secure, and cool brother out there who will be proud of what you have accomplished for yourself and be excited about what you can accomplish together. And you can have meaningful conversations with him. And you can chill together, play pool, go to a poetry reading, watch football, or whatever you do. And neither one of you should feel “intimidated” unless something is wrong with you! People, Please. Stop being crazy and trifling. Relax and go for what you know.

Just don’t let me find him first.

Reply ALL?

My newest pet peeve is "Reply All". This is an email feature that makes sense when you are trying to organize a group of people and everyone needs to know the updates. So again, my question is "why isn't there an ettiquette kit for email. If a conference sponsor sends out fifty email reminders to attendees, who am I to reply to everyone that I can't make it? Why do people do that?

Reply All: (insert fifty names and email addresses here)
From: jemailer@email.com
Subject: re: re: Reminder conference this Friday

Hello again Jack,
Sorry I didn't let you know before now, but I won't be able to attend the conference this Friday. I RSVPed two weeks ago but since then my father-in-law has moved in. He is somewhat ill and requires a lot of attention. My husband's schedule is not as flexible as mine is so a lot of his care has fallen on me. I may be able to come for the last half of the day. Will this be acceptable?
Thanks so much,
Jen Emailer

Okay, so did I really need to read that? Does Jen Emailer think I really care. or that everyone else on the email list needed or wanted to know why she couldn't attend the conference? I am really sick of people who reply to all for no real purpose. AHHHH! Figure out how to work this feature please.

Am I a Fraud?

Do you ever wake up in a cold sweat in the middle of the night – with your heart racing from fear, stress, or maybe even depression. And the thought in your head is “are they gonna find me out?” The “they” for you may be your boss, your parents, your co-workers, your clients, your children, your classmates or professors, your therapist or coach, your best friend, your neighbors, or your spouse or partner-(ssss)! You’re stressed that someone or everyone will find out that you lied on your resume, that you never finished college, that you dropped out of school- last semester, that you didn’t quit your last job- you were fired, or that you’re cheating on your boyfriend or girlfriend, husband or wife, cheating your clients, cheating on exams, or on your taxes. Are you a fraud or do you embellish life? Are you a liar, a cheater, a pilferer or a thief? Do you steal other people’s ideas and pass them off as your own brilliance. Well, stop! Sleep is precious and we all deserve to get some good quality sleep. And truth is redeeming. Speak it! And deal with the consequences once and for all.

I should add that I am neither a liar, a pilferer, a cheater or a thief. But sometimes I am an avoider. Especially when it comes to my doctoral program and facing up to my advisor. It was a weight off my shoulders to talk to her recently even if just to say “I know I’ve been slackin’” But, now a sista can sleep a little easier. I’m not gonna get “found out”. I came clean.

And so should you.

(Warning: Please don’t use this blog to tell too dirty of a secret- it’s really not private- it’s the internet.)

Deval Patrick wins Governor race in Massachusetts

History has been made. A great change in politics as usual has occurred in Massachusetts. We have our first Black governor. This would be a first in almost all states in the Union, but I really didn’t think I’d see it in Massachusetts for decades to come. People say “I don’t see race”. But that usually isn’t true. I really thought that Massachusetts citizens would stay Republican, stay White, and even elect our first woman governor. But Patrick ran a grass-roots campaign and won over all types of people with a landslide win. I think that this says progress for Massachusetts on so many levels. I pray that he will be a great governor for our fair commonwealth. I hope that we will see the change that we have been waiting anxiously for here and in the country.

To catch a predator

Okay. So I'm watching Dateline and the "to catch a predator" is on again. And although I find the whole thing horrifying, I can't turn the channel. Seemingly normal men turn out to be gross freaks who perv on kids. Geeze. And then they always go into some jibbajabba about how they really weren't there for sex and the beer or coolers are just for themselves. And they cry and say that this is their first time and they don't know why they did it.

And these pervs are white, black, old, young, your everyday Joe, John, Jaun, James, Jim. You could really just meet one of this mofo's on the street. He might be your man, or your cousin, or you neighbor, (hopefully not you). That is scary.

The internet is the playground for pervs and weirdos- no offense.

But please, beware, not just of the internet prowlers, but also of just about everyone. You really can't tell who is a predator. Pay attention. To everyone.

FW: FW: FW: RETURN TO SENDER

I'm sure I am not alone when I say this. Everyday somebody sends some stupid jibbajabba to my email.

• Sometimes it's a sad story or a scary warning or even a prayer. But at the end you find that it is essentially a chain letter. And it instructs you to send it off to twenty of your closest friend or family members- or people you hate but have their email addresses. Spread the jibbajabba and be blessed, or safe, or hopeful, or supportive of some cause. Or else?- be damned, be a jerk, or be a selfish @#$@ for keeping to yourself the warning about the killer hiding in the back seat while your best friend pumbs her gas.
  
• Sometimes the jibbajabba email is suppose to be important- to somebody, but it isn't to me. It's about something I could care less about or could just as easily be told out loud in two seconds instead of through an email. You may have guessed by now that I am easily annoyed by people who waste time, particularly my time. I usually keep it to myself but that's what this blog is for- so hey.

So my solution to jibbajabba email is a new feature to be created called "RETURN TO SENDER". when you see the subject of the email is stupid, or contains "Fw: Fw: Fw:", or is from someone you know only sends you jibbajabba, then you click the icon for RETURN TO SENDER.

Couldn't you just delete it?, you ask. NO. You need to return it so that the sender knows that you didn't want it, didn't read it, and really didn't appreciate it.

I think it's a good idea.

Don't get stupid

I need to get a new life. My life is full of all the stupid things I don't want, things I don't like, things I'd rather not stress my brain thinking about. But it's not like my life sucks. Don't get me wrong. I love life. I just need to cut some of the stupidity loose. I work long hours with an equal amount of frustration as reward. But most of the time it's the frustrations that keep us up at night. Who dreams about the good things that happen during the day? No, I dream about annoying paperwork that looms over me like a night stalker dressed in all black with panty hose over his face for a mask. Frankly, I don't believe in doing things that are tedious or stupid. If you have too much stupid in your life, you can become stupid too. It's pervasive and contagious. Other people's stupid can really reach out and grab you, choke you till you're about to pass out and then give you a really funky-breathed mouth to mouth resuscitation.
Beware, friends.
Do you want to come back to life stupid? Think it over.

Ready to write, ready to share

People who know me know that I am both private and paranoid. But I always say, I'm not paranoid I'm just smart enough to know that people are evil and shouldn't be trusted. Yes, I'm known for my common sense and knowledge of personalities and- things. So my friends are shocked that I am writing a blog and sharing my thoughts and musings. Well, to them I say "this is not quite reality, it's a blog and this isn't my real name". So the blog is both public, yet private. It gives me an opportunity to share my jibbajabba with those I like and strangers who happen upon it. I find the whole thing an exercise in reality vs. the internet. I have a new hobby in this I think. I love to write and joke and be "intellectual elitist" and 'ig'nant" in the same breath.

So welcome stranger, welcome friend, welcome weirdos and welcome thinkers. I am ready to write, ready to share. People who know me, like me. And people who don't like me, don't know me- or are stupid. Just being honest.

Thanks for stopping by. Have a productive day.

Have a productive day

I seem to be obsessed with having a productive day. I think it's because I want to have a purposeful life. And I wish the same for others. I think that if you have purpose then you do meaningful things throughout your day towards your purpose. So when other people say have a nice day or even a great day, I tend to say have a productive day. It's not because I think they are lazy or unproductive, but it's a well-wishing statement. I don't think I'm nearly as productive as I could be. I did get up and make breakfast, feed the cat, re-arrange the kitchen and cook enough meals to last the week, but I haven't even checked my email in three days (most of which is probably jibbajabba). I suppose we all need to define for ourselves what it means to have a productive day. Today, I need to go to the bank, set up a business account (yes, I started a business with my friend Wonder Woman- not her real name), call the realtor, call my advisor, work on my proposal, check my email, go to home depot for kitchen counter tops, work on the business plan, iron clothes for my "day job", visit my friend and her new (3 months already) baby, and go to my martial arts class. If I get all of that done and eat 3 meals, 2 snacks, take my vitamins, and drink 8 glasses of water, then I will have had quite a productive day indeed.

So, good bye. I need to resume.

Have a productive day.

your girl,
Cas

What is jibbajabba?

Please tell me you already know what jibbajabba is. Well, I feel like it's a word that I keep putting out there on a regular basis. At work I often say to my annoying co-workers "stop yo' jibbajabba and get productive!" They think it's funny and they laugh and talk more, like I just gave them a new topic to discuss ad nausea. But I'm serious. They talk about nothing. And do it in a loud voice, annoying voice, or odd tone of voice. . .
jibbajabba (n) annoying conversation, or a monologue by an annoying person
jibbajabba (n) confusing, sensless talk with no purpose or meaning
jibbajabba (n) a discussion about the senseless, confusing, and annoying things in life: this blog
-C